Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I Wish I Could...

...get out of this junk I'm wading in and celebrate the wonderful accomplishments of the Goobers today. I mean, Goober #1 went down the pool slide by himself, Goober #2 is really being a wonderful girl and Goober #3 seems to be adjusting to this teething thing. Me? I'm down.

So while I want to celebrate (although I never let the kids see any different) I am feeling like a prisoner lately. Let's be clear though. A prisoner in Federal Prison. You know, decent meals, decent clothes, decent housing, time out and yet...lacking any "real" freedom or privacy for that matter. In fact, I hate to blog it down because...I feel invaded (not by bloggers...)...yet...So what happens in times when I feel like there is no "outlet"...I start shutting off from others. Habit that is hard to break even after all these years. Unfortunately there is only one area that causes this heartache and it's my marriage. Yeah, I probably SHOULD talk to him but, to be truthful, he's the cause of the hurt and the one I want at the greatest distance. Not good when you are trying to SAVE a marriage. Besides, he cares about how everyone else is and how their lives are and pretty much leaves me be. Whatever. I feel alone and so very sad.

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