So I am reading a book called, Chasing God and the Kids Too by Cheryl R. Carter hoping to find some methods to re-think my prayer life. Honestly, it really needs some help. It's not that I don't pray, I do. It's more about making it a PRIORITY. I spend time with God but not IN God. I seldom allot any time to hear what He actually says. Instead I pray and move forward. Almost as if I feel I shouldn't waste His time with my "drivel". Yet, He WANTS to hear it. Whether my prayers are of repentance, joy or sorrow. Of happiness or bitterness or loss. I forget how much He really does want to know and care for me. That He will provide the answers if I simply be quiet and listen. There's the rub...I'm seldom still for a moment. It will be interesting to see how being still in Christ will allow Him to work in me.
Already I have heard Him while reading this book and must say, I was convicted. A couple of weeks ago I was so disturbed and, truthfully, appalled at a situation of a friend of mine. I publicly admonished and condemned her in all my self-righteousness. I took a stance of "I survived it. Why can't you?" During my sanctimonious stance did I ONCE pray for her and her family?! Nope! Instead of saying nothing and taking my concerns and disappointment to God's heart for her, her family and my own scars; I judged her and sentenced her. As a friend, that is difficult to admit. As a Christian is is a very hard pill to swallow. I get so wrapped up in what really is NOT my concern. When it should be turned over to God so He may work. I am so ashamed of that behavior and yet so glad the Lord brought it to my attention. Will it ever happen again? I hope not, but if it does...I know who'll be calling me to task. ;) I wouldn't have it any other way.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
So Much..Yet So Little
Where did the school year go? So much has happened but either I haven't felt like writing, forgot to write or simply didn't care. So much for trying to keep "on top of things". Where do I start? The good stuff? The bad stuff? Or all the stuff in between? Jeeze! Who knows?! Let's begin somewhere...
My brother was severely injured in a work related accident in October of 2009, my father was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer in April of 2010, my husband's job situation is still crappy (yeah...1/3 the pay but still the same amount of bills), sleepless nights over a violent act a street over from us, my husband recently being injured at work and now the children are currently sick. On top of trying to understand people who complain over the minor of things. Some days I have wanted to crawl under a rock at the bottom of the ocean but...God reminds me of what I have and what we have been blessed with.
We have a son who has finished kindergarten with a wonderful knowledge base and a reading level above the 1st grade. A daughter who is learning so much daily. The littlest who is jibbering on and on when we wondered if he'd EVER utter a word. My brother survived his injury despite losing a limb. My father who had lost his way in his faith walk is once again realizing God IS. Sure times are tight and we struggle but we have managed to keep our home, pay off our cars and keep food on the table. He has shown me that violence happens but that it allows me to be more aware and conscious of Life itself. That prayers of safety do not go unheard , otherwise my husband would not have moved that 550lb mold and survived to come home to us. He has reminded me that children get sick and that my prayers for their health are heard but time must be taken to ensure a full recovery.
This year has taught me that life is precious and SO often I get caught up in all the "little" things that I forget that this is only a temporary place. A way station. It was created by a Father who doesn't want to "hurt" me. He wants to mold me. He doesn't want me to "suffer". He wants me to learn and grow. Too bad I tend to be a very slow and methodical learner huh?However, I AM grateful for all we have been blessed with and while sometimes the little Envy Monster pops up...I wouldn't change what I have learned these last couple months.
My brother was severely injured in a work related accident in October of 2009, my father was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer in April of 2010, my husband's job situation is still crappy (yeah...1/3 the pay but still the same amount of bills), sleepless nights over a violent act a street over from us, my husband recently being injured at work and now the children are currently sick. On top of trying to understand people who complain over the minor of things. Some days I have wanted to crawl under a rock at the bottom of the ocean but...God reminds me of what I have and what we have been blessed with.
We have a son who has finished kindergarten with a wonderful knowledge base and a reading level above the 1st grade. A daughter who is learning so much daily. The littlest who is jibbering on and on when we wondered if he'd EVER utter a word. My brother survived his injury despite losing a limb. My father who had lost his way in his faith walk is once again realizing God IS. Sure times are tight and we struggle but we have managed to keep our home, pay off our cars and keep food on the table. He has shown me that violence happens but that it allows me to be more aware and conscious of Life itself. That prayers of safety do not go unheard , otherwise my husband would not have moved that 550lb mold and survived to come home to us. He has reminded me that children get sick and that my prayers for their health are heard but time must be taken to ensure a full recovery.
This year has taught me that life is precious and SO often I get caught up in all the "little" things that I forget that this is only a temporary place. A way station. It was created by a Father who doesn't want to "hurt" me. He wants to mold me. He doesn't want me to "suffer". He wants me to learn and grow. Too bad I tend to be a very slow and methodical learner huh?However, I AM grateful for all we have been blessed with and while sometimes the little Envy Monster pops up...I wouldn't change what I have learned these last couple months.
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