Betrayal & Mistrust

July 8, 2007

For over a month I have been dealing with a betrayal of someone close. It has not been easy (even with prayer). I'm human. I've weighed in on both sides of the fence at one time or another but this has been a great blow to me. So how do you get over those feelings of anger, bitterness, sadness, fear, and mistrust? That's a rhetorical question...but should you feel the need to comment...go ahead.

The Bible describes anger as residing "in the lap of fools" Ecclesiastes 7:9 or in the book of Jonah the Lord asks, "Have you any right to be angry?" 4:4. Gee, on the surface then I am an ungrateful fool. Yet closer look at each Scripture simply means anger should be slow in coming (if at all) and that God will bring you through the strife so why BE angry even if you feel you "deserve" to be angry? Hmm...I know we are to be Christ-like in our ways but I must say I am a knee-jerk-reaction kinda gal and ooo-WHEE is that hard when you are heated!

Sadness and all the other emotions are kinda covered here too. I know turning it over to God is the key but again...HUMAN here! Not an angel or living in Heaven! It's hard when this happens because it alters who you are. I am a different wife, mother, sister, friend. Currently I struggle to capture who I was only to realize that is not possible. I am forever altered. Now to adjust to the new me and use this to grow in all those areas and continue in faith.

I've heard others talk of betrayal and say, "Well...Jesus was betrayed and he forgave." Okay..I am SURE they think this is a good example but...we are talkin' Son of God here folks! He KNEW he would be betrayed. He said so at the Supper, He said so in the Garden of Gesthemene and He even prayed to His Father about it! My current bretrayal came out of the blue. SMACK! But they are right when they talk of forgiveness. We are called to forgive as Christians. Would that the rest of the World listened to that (but that is another topic). Matthew 6:14-15 says, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Mark 11:26 state basically the same. Ephesians 4:32 calls us to be kind, compassionate and forgiving to each other as Christ has done for us. Talk about another SMACK!

It is not easy to forgive or trust another when they have taken a trust given freely and without strings and smashed it but if you are a Christian then faith, belief and God's promises call you to act counter to how you, I, we as humans WANT to respond. Personally my first reaction was, "Convict them Lord! Make 'em suffer!" Yeah, so not the Christian attitude you would expect but...Now I am simply relying on Scripture to pull me through and help me rebuild the relationship or at least a tolerable exsistence for all concerned. We'll see. Just found some out more info. So it starts all over again! Sad thing is it appears I am not the only one being decieved. Many are being lied to or not being given a full truth. Does this person know how to or will they EVER be honest? Now how do you work through THAT?!