Parenting Do's & Don'ts (long be forewarned)

C. Everett Koop once said, "Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation." Yeah…uh…can you say P-R-E-S-S-U-R-E? Crap! The responsibility of raising the next generation! THAT's what I signed on for? And in the big scope of things? Yes. That's what ALL parents signed on for whether they consciously think about it or not.

As a Mom of soon-to-be 3 little Goobers I am by NO means an expert on parenting nor will I ever be. I have attended enough play dates, child events and had enough discussions with other parents to realize one thing about today's parenting though: STOP THE INSANITY ('mooches Susan Powder)!! In today's world of technology and the "get in touch with your feelings" era parents have been bombarded with so much information it can be maddening. I'm sure you have, like myself, received that e-mail that says it's amazing that we survived as children since our parents: never put us in car seats, let us touch shopping carts (gulp) directly, and even let us watch TONS of TV!! We giggle but obviously don't really take it to heart do we?

Look at it this way; beginning with pregnancy we are told what we should and should not do since our actions could mess up our baby in utero. Women shouldn't eat soft cheeses because they contain Listeria. Do you hear that Greek ladies?! No feta!! Oops! I've ignored this rule myself. Next. No hot dogs and lunchmeat (unless heated) or roadside ciders since they are all unpasteurized. Oops, oops and double oops! The list goes on. Eat tuna. Not TOO much though. Drink herbal teas, but not raspberry or peppermint. Lay on your left side when you sleep. No wait! Lay how you want, your body will tell you when to change position. Finally, don't drink caffeine. Nah! Drink caffeine, just in moderation. Stop changing the rules! Grr!! So according to "experts" I've already messed up the Baby. Ah…but Baby comes out healthy and intact. Whew! What a relief! Movin' on. Perhaps infancy will bring my redemption from in utero mistakes.

Clothe versus disposable. Bottle versus breastfeeding. SAHM versus WM. Are you kidding me?! Oh Honey! It doesn't even stop there! You got people debating over attachment parenting and its pros and cons. If that isn't enough the "experts" move into your bedroom and debate over whether the family bed produces a secure and well loved child or a stifled little one with no identity of their own. I gotta shake my head here. This is just insane and it gets worse. Let's move on to toddler hood.

Don't feed children under 4 years: hot dogs, nuts, chunks of meat or cheese, popcorn, chunks of peanut butter, raw vegetables, or fruit chunks. Great! Now according to these people again, I'm tryin' to kill my children!! That's okay; I disregard their catching germs too. I don't use a shopping cart cover, or antibacterial lotion after they play and I let strangers touch them (appropriately of course). Horrors!! I am not making fun of parents that DO these things. These are just a few areas I've "reclaimed" after Goober 1. Poor child probably saw so much antibacterial lotion from Bath & Body Works he'll have flashbacks when he grows up! Then I realized there are probably more germs on the ATM that I just touched than on the public restroom doors where at least 65% of people wash their hands. Think about it. Do you wash or sanitize YOUR hands after using the ATM? Ever? As for strangers tapping the Goobers on the head? No biggie there either. I'm there and…well…the Momma Peacock comes out when people compliment the kids on looks or behavior or just want to admire a little kid. Other parents might HATE that and that's okay.

Finally, we are "fed" by the media how we need to enroll our children in programs to boost their IQ and creativity. So we sign them up for music & movement classes, soccer lessons, sign language classes, Mommy & me yoga, swim lessons all before they have their 5^th birthday! What the?!? Again, I am not badmouthing parents who choose to do this. They are not bad things to do with your child. In fact it's a great opportunity just to spend time with your little one. I'm just pointing out the madness in it all. Some "experts" have done studies that show by "over scheduling" our children we are actually making them sicker, more depressed, anxiety ridden and perfectionist in personality at an earlier age. See the theme here yet?

"Experts" on one side will tell you one thing and "experts" on the other side will show you studies that say just the opposite. No wonder parents today feel "stressed" and wonder if they are "doing the right thing". From moment to moment the information given to us changes. It comes down to what is best for YOUR child or children. It doesn't make us "bad" parents if our child isn't taking sign language class like all the other kids on our block or if we load him up on PB&J and he's only 2! It doesn't mean we are setting the next generation up for failure.

So I say proudly: I am a SAHM who eats soft cheeses when pregnant, uses disposable diapers, extend breastfeeds, believes in attached parenting, spanks her children, feeds the Goobers PB&J, raw veggies, fruit, chunks of cheese and popcorn, does not use antibacterial lotion/spray on everything, has taken her children to toddler classes and is still trying to figure it all out. John Wilmot said it best though, "Before I was married I had six theories about raising children. Now I have six children and no theories." Ain't that the truth? Now if you'll excuse me I need to read that article on "Preteen Dating" there's a new study in there and I need to be prepared!