At The Moment

In this world of million upon millions of people it is amazing that one can feel so scared and lonely. I know I am not the only one who feels like this. Lately I feel more alone and scared than I have been in many years. In fact, I would say since High School. I find myself shutting more and more people out which makes me even more isolated. Like a merry-go-round I can't seem to get off of. I talk to God and I know He is with me providing His strength and love but I really wish I had "physical" closeness with others. Yet at the same time, I DON'T want it. Makes no sense does it? I have been keeping so much inside lately that I feel…lost, empty, lonely and scared. I don't talk to anyone about this, except God, because I don't want to "burden" them or worse, have their disapproval. So I stay silent and go about my days as though nothing is wrong. But in the quiet, like now, there is just this emptiness and me. I know I will get through this it is just a matter of when. At the moment I have too much time to reflect., too much pressing on my heart & mind. Too much.