Elephant or Baby?

Okay...bit worried here after the ultrasound done this week. It was basically to check and see if I was gonna need a C-section. WooHoo! No section here. Everything is good with Jellybean except...

Apparently he is measuring on the "big" side. Big as in, he is comin in at 33 weeks(now 34) instead of the 31 weeks (now 32) I am, he is a hefty 4lbs 9oz (DS was only 6lb8oz and DD was 6lb14oz) and he is in the 65th percentile!! Jeeze!! (at least I REALLY know HE'S gaining and not me) Now many know I'm not a tall or big woman so squeezin out anything over what DD weighed is just...well downright scary (that's me over there tryin to hide)!! Although...the good thing is he is already head down, which is early, so perhaps he will make an early appearance. Here's hoping. Because ya'll need to bring me some whiskey to drink after this pregnancy (and some of ya know why)!!

Call Of The Potty

Before our first child was born, my husband and I discussed MANY things: about how to raise him, how to school him, cloth vs. disposable and on and on. Among them was what we would refer to his private parts as. Neither of us thought the use of: pee-pee, tinkle, winky, blah, blah, blah were good choices. We believed (and still do) that he should know the correct anatomical names for his body parts, so penis it was and is! Then we had our daughter. Hmm…were we still gonna hold to this previous thought? Yep! So labia it was and still is! Now do not argue with us, labia vs. vagina (one is external, one internal) go argue on one of those websites about this issue. And yes, there ARE people who argue over this. Good grief!!! Anyway…

All this leads to what happens when the potty training begins. For experienced Mommas they know all too well. For the non-experienced…you MAY want to rethink your strategies unless you are not easily embarrassed when you hear a child screech things in the loudest voice possible.

Potty training and what you have chosen to have them call their body parts WILL inevitably end up shouted across a crowded store, whispered loudly in Church or, heck, just about anywhere when they have to go to the restroom…or simply feel the need to share what they are thinking at the time. It can be a source of humor and sometimes embarrassment. But it will also elicit scornful looks of "Know-It-All Moms" (AKA: those who have no kids or have yet to hit the potty training timetable) and knowing nods and smirks from Moms who have been there before and are SO glad to be done with it all.

We have once again begun the potty training thing with our son who will tell just about everyone about his "peanut". That he has one and so does Daddy but not Mommy or Sissy. Ahh…they begin SO young with that fixation girls. Now our daughter wants to start using the potty and hearing her say labia? Well, funny AND creepy to be honest.

While both seem to want to share this accurate, and dare I say; pretty-smart-for-their-age knowledge of their body with others I can't help but wonder if my husband & I really should have tried yelling these words to each other across a store to see the reaction of others prior to our children doing it. Yet, I don't think it would have garnered the same stares shouted by 30-some year olds as it does 3 year and 19 month old children. But MAN! That would have been funny!

And Again...

I am so angry, sad and well...just tired of stuff that I think is dead ressurecting itself over and over. It is draining and boring. I wonder why people who know thier behavior or actions hurt would resume those same behaviors or actions. Perhaps I am dumb. Perhaps I am hoping for too much from others. People say they are doing one thing only for you to find out that... or someone apologizes and says it won't happen again and there they go...down that same road (kids are notorious for this BTW). Turning to another person instead of the one you should be turning to is not acceptable. If you want out of a relationship (marriage/friendship/whatever) why not just go? Why drag things out? I would rather you own up to crap than continue to lie.

So now what? I feel so overwhelmed considering I'm pregnant, have 2 little ones and gotta deal with this too. If I could runaway I would but...obviously that is not feasible.

What I do know is I thought things were being put to rest and yet...here we are all over. I feel like I am caught in a windstorm and being beat to heck. I'm just so tired. So tired.

Freakin Out

I am freaking out lately over stuff I have no control over and it drives me nuts! I should know what to expect considering this is our 3rd Goober in less than 3 1/2 years but...

I find myself thinking, "How the heck am I gonna DO this?!" DH is only gonna be home for about a week to help and then back to 14+ hour days, winter will be coming which means less ability to get out of the house, 2 toddlers & a newborn and ME cooped up for days, DS still refusing the potty, DD getting READY to start potty training, grocery shopping with 3... And on and on. Then DH says, "You really don't want anymore?" 'Kay, I know he is HALF kidding here; it's the other half that's scares me.

I know God's timing is perfect. I do. I know for everything there is a season (Eccleciastes 3:1 and please do NOT break out in song or even Eccleciastes 3:11). But crud! I feel like my body is getting ready for Fall and my mind is already in Winter!! Although good thing my Spirit is more in Summer (there's a plus). And while that may not seem like a bad thing to some...for me it is frustrating. I know this is an overreaction (hormonally induced or not) and that when actually FACED with everything it will all work out with God's help; but the ever present controlling side of me that wants to ALWAYS control the uncontrolable? Not an easy task. Ahh...well...Psalm 27:14 says, "Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD." So...I wait.

The Skinny (Or Fat for Dumb People)

This a peeve of mine and has been now through ALL 3 pregnancies; people who blurt STUPID stuff without using that filter God gave them in their brain called: TACT!!

I'm not sure when someone makes a comment about weight to a pregnant lady that they think this is acceptable or what. Example: "Gosh! Are you sure you're not having twins?!" (got that with my second) or "Wow! You are REALLY out there!" (got that with my first) or the recent comment was, "You're really showing for only that far along!" What the heck?! Okay, I am 6 1/2 months pregnant, I have gained 12 lbs (below what I should be gaining BTW) and this is my THIRD kid!! GRRR... Then my Mom relates a comment she made to a lady carrying twins needing a wheelbarrow by 9 months (she's 3 months along)! No she didn't?!

What the...?! Here's the scoop for all thsoe who have not been pregnant, do not intend be pregnant or well...just don't have the right equiptment: it is NOT okay to spout and spew this poop at pregnant women!! Unless of course you are an imbecile or really want to die at a pregnant woman's swollen ankles! And here is a lithmus test in case you are still confused about what IS acceptable to say: if you wouldn't say it to a fat person...then don't say it to a pregnant lady. BUT...for those of you that hurt other people by saying cruel and heartless things then please use KISS and say, "You look good."

'Kay, I had my say. I must waddle away now to find some more Dips. Just as soon as I get outta my chair!

Been nutty here with our oldest's birthday party. But, WHEW! that's done (and another post or for my other blog).

Today I'm thinking about ambition and how do you go about instilling that in your children. Hmmm...see PERSONALLY I am not all that ambitious. I never wanted to BE anything. Not a teacher, not a doctor, not a wife, not a mother...nothing. Sounds sad but it really isn't. I've never wondered what I COULD have been since I had no desire to BE anything. I've exsisted and feel okay about that. Not good. Not bad. Okay. Heehee...this drives one particular person crazy but at least now I know where the ambivilance comes from. Oops! Sorry mind wandered. Where was I?

Now my parents were supportive but not goal oriented people. Correction: my MOM was those things. She never swayed me one way or another. Never asked my interests or goals. Yet I knew she was there. So how much can I lay on her and how much do I lay on myself? Another question.

So now I am trying to figure out how as a Mom I can foster that ambition. Not that kind of ambition that leaves a burnt path of pain and devestation in its wake. But the kind that drives one forward with the desire to do good works. I know providing a faith based home is a start but then everything starts to look all muddled. I try to introduce the kids to new experiences and cultures as often as I can and hope to continue to do so. They need to be exposed to others and other things so they CAN carve out a path. My black/white husband told me this though, "No matter how much we try to be a Rockwell family, or anybody does, we'll still mess it up as parents. But that will help them make their paths too." Ahh...sometimes you just need someone to wipe the dirty glass so you can see it sparkle dontcha?

Time

When you're a SAHM so much seems to revolve around the kids, especially when they are little. They still can't do for themselves, they still want you (Mommy, Mommy!!!)... And not that I mind, but it was great to go out this weekend without them and reconnect with my husband.

Ever realize how much you miss someone you see everyday? That's pretty much how it was for me. DH works LONG hours so I can stay home with the kids. Unfortunately that means time gets sacrificed both for the kids and me. We see him minimally during the week. So it was a nice change to just walk, have a yummy dinner and actually talk all without interruption. After 15 years I still love to hear him talk, laugh, and be thoughtful & introspective. I am always amazed at how much he knows or remembers (I'm lucky if I remember what the heck I did with my car keys half the time).

This entry may seem a bit sappy for some (I warned you early enough) but...if you've ever not been able to hang out with a good friend, a close relative, a lover, or spouse and then to add the fact that you see them everyday you understand where I am coming from. I Corinthians 13:13 states : "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." We can have faith in God or our other relationships that they will survive despite all. We can have hope in our relationships that things will "get better". But if you lack love in relationships then what would the point be? While love may not sustain you through all adversity it is the foundation on which you need to build your "home". It will be the thing that will bind you and push you on. It will give you the strength you need to get rid of all the other mess. And if you've read any other posts you know that it is what is helping me overcome all that poop.

Lord Byron wrote: "I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all." I would still love DH even if we had never got married (wouldn't he be shocked?). He is a great person to hang out with, share faith with, have hope in and love. I'm glad I got the chance this weekend to really appreciate that all over.