A Bedroom & A Date

FINALLY!!! I have finished the Boys' Music Bedroom and taken pictures to boot! I made the crib bedding and DW's pillow sham, which I don't think is too shabby, even if I say so myself. I wish I had made the crib skirt a bit longer but...oh well. The guitar mural is alright considering Mommy is NO artist. The blue guitar was patterned after a Johnny Ramone guitar released prior to his death. The other guitar is supposed to be of a Frank Zappa guitar. But Bubba doesn't care that they aren't really accurate he just loves his "Guitar room". The dresser is one of 2 that I got for a STEAL!!! They are Vaughn Bassett and retail at $750 a piece and we paid that for both!! YEA!!! Gotta love a bargain!!

Also for those of you who may care...Mommy will be induced on October 12th. So grab your plane tickets and fill the gas tank if ya wish to visit Jellybean. No cause for alarm about being induced. It was a request of mine. He is getting big and well...to be honest...I would REALLY like to be able to dry my legs properly and sleep "normal" again without feelin like a big ol' whale.

Oh Golly!! Halloween!!

***Forewarning: Hot Button For Many***

So here I am making the kids' Halloween costumes (Yeah I'm a dork Mom. I sew their costumes) and pondering the whole Halloween "thing". I love Fall and Halloween (could ya tell from my profile page?). I love the colors, the smell of candy apples, apple cider, the leaves turning color and the crispness of the air. I love the little funny witches and monsters you see on cards or window clings. I love carving jack-o-lanterns (and yes, I do go somewhat nutso on them). I love hearing our son tell us he is gonna "be a cowboy and Sissy be a cowgirl". I have no "hidden" agenda and I do not worship other Gods or Goddesses. As a Christian however, I am told this is a "bad" thing.

We all know that most holidays have their beginnings in pagan worship. I used to practice Wicca so I know all about Samhain. Yet here I am. Having renewed my commitment to God and yet I still struggle over most holidays and celebrating them. Many think of Halloween as "more" evil than all the others and of course this is my FAVORITE season and holiday. There I admit it. For most people who aren't Christian, OR those who just blindly follow the crowd, Halloween (or ANY holiday for that matter) is rarely contemplated. And quite honestly it is also a weird subject if you ask a Christian their stance on it. Some are against it completely. They have no pumpkins, so scarecrows and obviously do NOT take their children trick-or-treating. Then there are those who believe in "Fall Festivals" so they participate in hay rides, apple bobbing, "safe" costumes and may even celebrate on November 1^st and call it: All Saint's Day and then there are others, much like myself, who participate in trick-or-treating, taking their children to Boo at the Zoo and see it as harmless fun. Now, I don't know which one is actually right, but I do know that I will be held accountable for all my actions and even if I hide them from the World, God will still know my heart. And He knew I would enjoy Halloween, right or wrong. I also know that if Halloween is bad so are other holidays.

Christmas, Easter and Valentine's Day were ALL once pagan holidays too. So why are they not considered "evil" as well? See, here is why I get confused. Surprise! Every holiday, with the exception of Passover and Pentecost, is never described in the Bible. Which means simply, if God gave no instruction on how to celebrate them then they are NOT celebrations that would be pleasing to Him. Therefore they should not be celebrated either. Jeremiah 10: 2-5 "Thus says the Lord, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cuts a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not. They are upright as the palm tree, but speak not: they must needs be borne, because they cannot go. Be not afraid of them; for they cannot do evil, neither is it in them to do good." However ask any Christian about Easter, Christmas or Valentine's Day and usually they are "all for them".

Please don't misunderstand, I am not saying these Christians are "bad", but people need to UNDERSTAND what they heck they are celebrating and why. That goes for EVERYONE! Be you a Christian or not. Are you "following the crowd" or do you have full knowledge of what and why you celebrate a holiday? Personally, other than Halloween I am not a "big" participator of man created holidays. I decorate minimally and partake even less. Most holidays, as I said earlier, are pagan in their beginnings, rejuvenated as "Christian" observances by the Catholic Church, and so completely bastardized by modern society that they no longer even hold "traditional" pagan meanings! Sure I could give ya a short history lesson on the holidays…but hey! You got a computer! Use it. And while you are at it…use your mind and wonder why you celebrate what you do. Again, the bottom line is: decide what's right for YOUR family, YOUR beliefs, and YOUR God. However, as a parent at least be able to intelligently tell your children the reasons you celebrate the way you do. Just a thought.

Parenting Do's & Don'ts (long be forewarned)

C. Everett Koop once said, "Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation." Yeah…uh…can you say P-R-E-S-S-U-R-E? Crap! The responsibility of raising the next generation! THAT's what I signed on for? And in the big scope of things? Yes. That's what ALL parents signed on for whether they consciously think about it or not.

As a Mom of soon-to-be 3 little Goobers I am by NO means an expert on parenting nor will I ever be. I have attended enough play dates, child events and had enough discussions with other parents to realize one thing about today's parenting though: STOP THE INSANITY ('mooches Susan Powder)!! In today's world of technology and the "get in touch with your feelings" era parents have been bombarded with so much information it can be maddening. I'm sure you have, like myself, received that e-mail that says it's amazing that we survived as children since our parents: never put us in car seats, let us touch shopping carts (gulp) directly, and even let us watch TONS of TV!! We giggle but obviously don't really take it to heart do we?

Look at it this way; beginning with pregnancy we are told what we should and should not do since our actions could mess up our baby in utero. Women shouldn't eat soft cheeses because they contain Listeria. Do you hear that Greek ladies?! No feta!! Oops! I've ignored this rule myself. Next. No hot dogs and lunchmeat (unless heated) or roadside ciders since they are all unpasteurized. Oops, oops and double oops! The list goes on. Eat tuna. Not TOO much though. Drink herbal teas, but not raspberry or peppermint. Lay on your left side when you sleep. No wait! Lay how you want, your body will tell you when to change position. Finally, don't drink caffeine. Nah! Drink caffeine, just in moderation. Stop changing the rules! Grr!! So according to "experts" I've already messed up the Baby. Ah…but Baby comes out healthy and intact. Whew! What a relief! Movin' on. Perhaps infancy will bring my redemption from in utero mistakes.

Clothe versus disposable. Bottle versus breastfeeding. SAHM versus WM. Are you kidding me?! Oh Honey! It doesn't even stop there! You got people debating over attachment parenting and its pros and cons. If that isn't enough the "experts" move into your bedroom and debate over whether the family bed produces a secure and well loved child or a stifled little one with no identity of their own. I gotta shake my head here. This is just insane and it gets worse. Let's move on to toddler hood.

Don't feed children under 4 years: hot dogs, nuts, chunks of meat or cheese, popcorn, chunks of peanut butter, raw vegetables, or fruit chunks. Great! Now according to these people again, I'm tryin' to kill my children!! That's okay; I disregard their catching germs too. I don't use a shopping cart cover, or antibacterial lotion after they play and I let strangers touch them (appropriately of course). Horrors!! I am not making fun of parents that DO these things. These are just a few areas I've "reclaimed" after Goober 1. Poor child probably saw so much antibacterial lotion from Bath & Body Works he'll have flashbacks when he grows up! Then I realized there are probably more germs on the ATM that I just touched than on the public restroom doors where at least 65% of people wash their hands. Think about it. Do you wash or sanitize YOUR hands after using the ATM? Ever? As for strangers tapping the Goobers on the head? No biggie there either. I'm there and…well…the Momma Peacock comes out when people compliment the kids on looks or behavior or just want to admire a little kid. Other parents might HATE that and that's okay.

Finally, we are "fed" by the media how we need to enroll our children in programs to boost their IQ and creativity. So we sign them up for music & movement classes, soccer lessons, sign language classes, Mommy & me yoga, swim lessons all before they have their 5^th birthday! What the?!? Again, I am not badmouthing parents who choose to do this. They are not bad things to do with your child. In fact it's a great opportunity just to spend time with your little one. I'm just pointing out the madness in it all. Some "experts" have done studies that show by "over scheduling" our children we are actually making them sicker, more depressed, anxiety ridden and perfectionist in personality at an earlier age. See the theme here yet?

"Experts" on one side will tell you one thing and "experts" on the other side will show you studies that say just the opposite. No wonder parents today feel "stressed" and wonder if they are "doing the right thing". From moment to moment the information given to us changes. It comes down to what is best for YOUR child or children. It doesn't make us "bad" parents if our child isn't taking sign language class like all the other kids on our block or if we load him up on PB&J and he's only 2! It doesn't mean we are setting the next generation up for failure.

So I say proudly: I am a SAHM who eats soft cheeses when pregnant, uses disposable diapers, extend breastfeeds, believes in attached parenting, spanks her children, feeds the Goobers PB&J, raw veggies, fruit, chunks of cheese and popcorn, does not use antibacterial lotion/spray on everything, has taken her children to toddler classes and is still trying to figure it all out. John Wilmot said it best though, "Before I was married I had six theories about raising children. Now I have six children and no theories." Ain't that the truth? Now if you'll excuse me I need to read that article on "Preteen Dating" there's a new study in there and I need to be prepared!

The Poop, the Whole Poop and Nothing but the Poop

Before this week gets away I really should sum up the highs and lows of this past week. For some of you you know what the continuing low is so...no need to go THERE.

On Tuesday I wanted to try and work on the boys' guitar mural in their room. So I changed REW and Bubba changed himself. Both had eaten breakfast. Cool! All set! Now for the most part the Munchkins get along (except for the "Mine! Mine!" thing) so I can leave them for short spurts and work on house stuff and know that they are safe. But PLEASE do not e-mail me if you feel this was wrong. My kids. My house. My rules. Now I usually check on them every 5 minutes but this time I was really into trying to get Frank Zappa's guitar right (ROFL!!) and missed my window. Oops! Big mistake! Next thing I hear is Bubba comin up the stairs to declare, "Mommy! Sissy ALL dddiiiirrrtttyyy!" **Brief thought: what could she have POSSIBLY got into?** I replied, "Sissy's all dirty?" "Yeah Mommy. ALL dirty." You...are...gonna...LOVE this!!! I go downstairs to find REW: naked and covered in what appeared to be a HUGE melted chocolate mess. Ahh...but since chocolate is no where around..yep! it was POOP! Her belly was covered. Her face was covered. Her hair was covered. In her poop covered hands she held out to me, like a peace offering, a big lump of poo. I WISH I had had my camera handy because...it was freakin' FUNNY!!! And the pics would have been great "leverage" at a later date in her teen years. Instead I wisked her upstairs to hose her down, glancing at the clean diaper lying so casually on the living room floor. All I did was sigh, giggle, shake my head and continue holding her at arms length saying, "Uh-uh don't you touch ME Poopy Girl!" to her outstreched poop hands. Alright so now in terms of Fecal Covered Kids we are 2 for 3 (oh yeah, Bubba has a story too!). So I told CW Baby can have his time next summer...OUTSIDE!! gol.

Wednesday was mild in comparison with me painting a bedroom wall in our room since it takes only about 20 minutes. Not to worry, I turned her diaper backwards AND put her a onesie/shorts combo. No poop story in site.

Thursday, because of all the drama going on in other areas of my life, I misread the calender and thought my Doc appt was that day. Dang! Dang! Dang! Dang! Oh well...I went shopping. PHHTTT!!!

So Friday I returned to the Doc to check on Jellybean. He's fine and all is well. I lost 2.5 pounds. Gee...wonder why. Doc asked me why...told her I didn't know. Don't wanna be sharing all this crap (no pun intended) with others. As long as Baby is good. I'm fine. So total gain for almost 8 months is...13 pounds. Friday night was cool with a concert (Spectrum) and meeting new people and some time sans children. If I could have had a beer and a shot I woulda been set!

So there was my quick week in review. Now wasn't this better than any sleeping pill?

Your Deception

Your affair has had farther reaching effects than you know. Your continual denial, even when the truth is presented, offering you redemption, is heartbreaking. It shows you chosing her over the children & I everytime. It has, however thaught me the mistakes (and tricks) you have done. A combined e-mail account? Brilliant! Especially on a service you normally use that would not send up any red flags? Genius! But secrets eat at people (at least those with a moral compass) until they can no longer keep them.

You had a great family who loved you, would have seen you through anything, gave their trust to you. What did you do? You traded it all for your own selfish pleasure seeking motives. You chose HER over us. She will never give you what the children did, what I did. That, however, is your own doing and destruction you have caused.

As we move on with our lives and heal, love will return. The children will have someone who will not chose flesh over their love. I will find someone who will love the children, who will love me, and would not jeapordize that by being self-centered, deceitful and selfish. I am sorry you could not fully appreciate what was so willingly and happily given to you. Hopefully one day you will understand the destruction and devastation your actions caused. Perhaps one day you will feel remorse for them. Perhaps.

Ravings of A Mad Woman

When

The Sun hits my skin- warmth, safety, happiness.

The Clouds roll in- soft rain, constant evelopement, contentment.

The Wind picks up- fear, mistrust, saddness.

The Chill takes over- bitterness, loathing, hatred.

Will the Sun return?

Unhealed Heart

If you were here what would I feel?

Love.

If you were here what would I do?

Love you.

If I could see you what would I say?

I Love You.

Where are you?

I have lost you.

She

She is the ghost that haunts my waking thoughts

She is the banshee that pierces my sleep

She is the vampire bleeding my soul

She is the secret in your mind & heart hidden deep

And she is destroying us.